Is the Church I attend Cult-LIKE?

 Characteristics of a Toxic Church/Church Leadership

From Spiritual Abuse Recovery Workbook by David Henke

•  If you challenge, disagree, oppose, or offended in anyway, you cannot leave with your reputation intact. 
• The religious leaders demanded people rise to the level of respectability before they would accept them. Perfectionism is a denial of Grace. God, however, will come and meet you where you are. 
• Spiritual abusers are authoritarian. Because they are also legalists, the system they lead is characterized by a power, structure and accountable to those who follow. 
• The leader may have a governing board, but he, or she hand picks the members. In such a system, the “authority “ is never wrong. Fear and intimidation are used to shame those who voiced disagreement.
• There is excessive loyalty given to the leaders or the group. They are taught that God anointed the leadership and the followers are to submit in anything leadership requires. It is also taught that God will bless the submission, even if the leader is wrong. 
• It’s all a façade. Just like the enabler in the family of an alcoholic that covers the added evidence of addiction, so the high control group will hide the hypocrisy, abuse, immorality, and even illegality. 
• Abusive groups are secretive. Secrets are only legitimate and matters of personal confidentiality. This is an example of one’s personal boundaries that can be only crossed with permission. Secrets are not legitimate when there is something unethical, immoral, illegal, or disrespectful that has been concealed. High-control groups have a lot of secrets since that must not be discussed. 
• Troublemakers are labeled. When someone breaks a rule in the group, they are labeled as a troublemaker, so we’re of discord, under the control of Satan, or demonized. 
• There is no accountability. Anyone who would dare to question beliefs, or bring a charge against a leader, or a favorite person within the group must be ready to endure a firestorm of criticism and discipline. 
• Leaving may be seen as turning one’s back on God and salvation. So rather than forsaking, one's salvation, or leaving the will of God, some accept the pain and endure it. 
• Some of the characteristics common to false prestige include Elitism – set themselves, apart from the common man, preferring the company of other elites Appearance is everything – hypocritical disconnect between reality, and how things appear. Unquestionable – self-important status, place them above question.