The Way Out To Freedom

(737) 239-1947 info@TheWayOutToFreedom.com

The Way Out to Freedom
The Way Out to Freedom

(737) 239-1947 info@TheWayOutToFreedom.com

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Signs of Cult-Churches
  • Recognize Emotional Abuse
  • God's Word and Abuse
  • Informative books
  • Helpful Videos
  • Considering Leaving
  • Meditation & Scripture
  • Get Grounded and Calm
  • Hear from Survivors
  • Support Resources
  • Counseling & Coaching
  • Contact Us

Be Informed - Learn the Dynamics of Abuse

 It's common to feel like you're the only one experiencing mistreatment, which can lead to self-doubt and confusion. You may question whether it's abuse, if you're overreacting, or if you're just being too sensitive. The fear of reaching out for help or asking questions can be overwhelming, especially when you risk being shamed or labeled for speaking up.

But being informed is the first step toward empowerment. Understanding the signs of abuse, learning key terminology, and recognizing the tactics used by abusers can help you see your relationships, work, or even your church in a new light. Knowledge gives you the ability to make choices based on truth—supported by the word of God, trusted counselors, and professionals who are dedicated to helping you achieve emotional and mental well-being.

God never intended for us to live in fear, oppression, or shame. Longsuffering isn’t meant to be a permanent state. By becoming informed, you can break free from these cycles and start living a life rooted in strength, clarity, and peace.

God did not intend for us to live in fear, oppression and shame. Longsuffering is NOT a life sentence.

Empower yourself about abuse

eMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL ABUSE

Emotional and spiritual abuse are deeply impactful forms of mistreatment that can leave lasting scars, even if they’re not as immediately visible as physical abuse. Both involve manipulation, control, and a breakdown of trust that can have profound effects on a person’s sense of self and well-being.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse often involves behavior meant to control, belittle, or undermine a person’s emotional state. While the harm is not always physically visible, it can be just as damaging. Common forms of emotional abuse include:

  • Gaslighting: The abuser makes the victim question their reality, memory, or perceptions, leaving them confused and insecure.
  • Verbal attacks or insults: Constantly belittling, mocking, or demeaning someone to make them feel worthless.
  • Isolation: Preventing the person from seeing friends, family, or engaging in activities to ensure they remain dependent on the abuser.
  • Silent treatment: Withdrawing affection or communication as a form of control, leaving the victim feeling ignored or invisible.

These actions erode the victim’s emotional stability and can cause long-term damage to their self-esteem and ability to trust others.

Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual or religious abuse involves the misuse of spiritual beliefs or practices to control or manipulate someone. This can take many forms, including:

  • Manipulation using religious doctrine: An abuser may use spiritual teachings to justify controlling behavior, making the victim believe that their suffering is “God’s will” or that they are spiritually inferior.
  • Shaming or guilt: A person may use religion to impose guilt, shame, or fear, making the victim feel unworthy, sinful, or undeserving of love or kindness.
  • Exploitation of faith: This can involve using someone’s spiritual beliefs to manipulate them into doing things they wouldn’t otherwise, such as giving up money, time, or resources to the abuser or their cause.

In spiritual abuse, the victim’s faith or sense of connection to the divine becomes distorted. This can lead to confusion, loss of faith, and emotional trauma that takes years to heal.

Covert Abuse

Covert or subtle abuse can often go unnoticed by others, making it especially dangerous. These behaviors are not as obvious as physical abuse but can be just as damaging in their long-term effects. Examples include:

  • Intimidation through anger or emotion: This can include outbursts of anger that scare or confuse the victim without being overtly violent.
  • Invasion of personal space: This could be done in a way that doesn’t involve physical contact but creates discomfort or a sense of powerlessness.
  • Blocking exits or controlling movement: Preventing someone from leaving a situation, whether emotionally, physically, or psychologically, is a subtle but controlling act.
  • Threats or intimidation: Using threats (even if they’re veiled or implied) to manipulate someone into compliance.

These forms of abuse can make the victim feel trapped, unsafe, and without control over their own life, even if the abuse is not outwardly aggressive.

In all these cases, abuse is about control—whether it’s emotional, spiritual, or psychological. It’s important to recognize that the effects of this kind of abuse can be long-lasting and devastating, often leading victims to question their self-worth and lose their sense of agency.

coercive control

Coercive Control and Emotional Abuse

When trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship or cult-like environment, it can feel like you're not making your own choices but instead being controlled by someone else. Outsiders may simplify the situation by saying things like "You're an adult, you could say no" or "You're responsible for your own decisions," but for those in these situations, the reality is much more complex. Coercive control is a subtle form of abuse where the abuser manipulates the victim’s thoughts, emotions, and actions through isolation, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail. Victims often feel powerless, fearful, and unable to make independent decisions, making it seem impossible to escape even when physical danger isn’t present. This control leads to learned helplessness, where the victim feels they have no control over their circumstances, and gaslighting, which distorts their sense of reality and judgment, creating confusion, self-doubt, and dependency on the abuser. Secondary abuse occurs when friends, family, or the public dismiss the victim's experience or blame them for staying, deepening isolation, shame, and guilt. Healing from coercive control is a slow process that requires emotional support, therapy, and reclaiming one's sense of autonomy and self-worth. It involves recognizing that the abuse is not the victim's fault and understanding that freedom isn’t just about leaving—it’s about regaining emotional and psychological agency.


GASLIGHTING

 Gaslighting is a subtle but powerful form of psychological manipulation where an abuser causes the victim to doubt their own thoughts, memories, or perception of reality. Over time, this erodes the victim’s confidence, creates confusion, and can lead to a loss of self-esteem, emotional instability, and dependency on the abuser. The manipulation typically happens gradually, so the victim may dismiss individual incidents, not realizing they’re being controlled.

Gaslighting can occur in personal relationships, professional settings, or even by public figures. Common tactics include phrases like:

  • "I never said that."
  • "You're being dramatic."
  • "You're imagining things."
  • "You made me do that."
  • "You're crazy."

These manipulative behaviors can make a person feel like they're losing their grip on reality, but it's important to recognize them. Gaslighting is a sign that a relationship is unhealthy. Even if unintentional, it’s still harmful and comes from a controlling place. If you’ve experienced gaslighting, remember that you’re not at fault. Practice self-compassion, set boundaries with the abuser, and surround yourself with people who can validate your experience and support your emotional well-being.

narcissistic signs & behavior

 Narcissistic behavior in emotionally abusive relationships or cult-like churches typically revolves around manipulation, control, and a lack of empathy. Narcissists often believe they are superior and entitled to special treatment. They demand admiration and expect others to prioritize their needs above all else, disregarding the feelings of those around them. In these dynamics, they may use others for personal gain, whether emotionally, financially, or for status, without giving anything in return.

They tend to flip between idealizing and devaluing others, using praise to keep people close, and then belittling or manipulating them when they feel challenged. This creates confusion and insecurity in victims. Narcissists also excel at gaslighting, making others question their own perceptions of reality, which further strengthens their control.

In these relationships or environments, there’s often an expectation for constant admiration and loyalty. Followers or partners are isolated from outside influences, ensuring they remain dependent on the narcissist. Narcissists may also display envy, belittling others or insisting that others are envious of them.

The emotional toll of these behaviors often leads to trauma bonding, where victims feel a strong, confusing attachment to the narcissist, even though they recognize the harm being done. Breaking free from these toxic dynamics can be incredibly challenging, but it involves recognizing these patterns, setting clear boundaries, and seeking support from trusted people outside of the situation.

GROOMING

Grooming in emotionally abusive relationships and high-control religions or cultlike churches is a gradual manipulation process where the abuser or leader gains trust and creates dependency. In abusive relationships, the abuser may start with small acts of care to isolate the victim, making them emotionally, socially, or financially dependent, while distorting their reality. In high-control religions or cultlike churches, recruits are showered with attention and a sense of purpose, often during vulnerable times, and pressured to adopt beliefs while cutting ties with outside support. Both scenarios involve subtle tactics that make it difficult for victims to recognize the harm until they’re deeply entrenched, leading to long-term effects on their self-worth and autonomy.

shaming

Shaming in emotional abusive relationships and in cult-like or high-control religions is a manipulative tactic used to degrade and control individuals by making them feel inferior, inadequate, or unworthy. In abusive relationships, shaming may involve insults, humiliation, or making someone feel guilty or responsible for things beyond their control. The goal is to undermine their sense of self-worth, often to maintain power and dominance over them.

In cult-like or high-control religious environments, shaming can be used as a way to enforce conformity to rigid beliefs or practices. Members might be shamed for questioning authority, for not adhering strictly to the group’s rules, or for failing to meet specific standards set by the group. This type of shaming can create feelings of isolation, fear, and guilt, keeping individuals from leaving or speaking out against the group.

The emotional impact of shaming can be profound, leading to long-term damage to self-esteem and mental health. However, as you mentioned, self-compassion can be a powerful antidote to shame. Research supports that practicing self-compassion—treating oneself with kindness, recognizing shared humanity, and practicing mindfulness—can help individuals overcome feelings of shame and rebuild their sense of self-worth. By cultivating self-compassion, people can begin to challenge the damaging messages they’ve internalized and reclaim their emotional well-being.

tRAUMA bOND

 Trauma Bonding is a psychological response to abuse. It occurs when the abused person forms a connection or relationship with the person who abuses them. The person experiencing abuse may develop sympathy for the abusive person.  It typically occurs when the abused person begins to develop sympathy or affection for the abuser.

This bond can develop over days, weeks, or months.

Some key signs of trauma bonding include: 

  • You are willing to overlook the abuse in order to re-experience love bombing. 
  • You cover up or minimize the abuse by making excuses for the abuser’s behavior.
  • You lie to others about the abuse.
  • No matter what, you can barely fathom leaving the relationship; the thought makes you feel sick.
  • A hyper-focus on the abuser’s every want or need.
  • An overly deep sense of gratitude for even the smallest acts of kindness from the abuser.
  • Appeasing their partner in ways that conflict with the victim’s own values
  • Anyone who encourages the victim to leave the relationship, is seen as an “enemy”.

group think

 Groupthink in cult-like churches occurs when members prioritize maintaining unity and harmony within the group over critical thinking or considering alternative viewpoints. This phenomenon thrives in environments where individuals are pressured to conform to rigid beliefs and practices, often due to fear of upsetting the status quo or breaking tradition. Members may suppress dissenting opinions or questions, feeling pressured to agree with the group’s teachings, even when they have doubts. Critical or external perspectives are typically rejected, reinforcing the group’s insular mindset. Over time, this creates an illusion of unanimity, where members believe everyone agrees, even if that’s not true. In such an environment, individuals are discouraged from thinking independently or evaluating whether the group’s doctrines truly align with their personal values, leading to emotional and intellectual stagnation. Groupthink can ultimately trap members in the group, limiting their growth and making it difficult to challenge harmful or restrictive beliefs.

Silencing / Canceling

Fearmongering / Scare tactics

Fearmongering / Scare tactics

Silencing

  

Canceling and silencing are powerful tools of manipulation and control. Cancel culture has to do with the cutting off of relationships and or the removing of support for others in response to their objectionable behavior or opinions. When canceling is part of a church or social group, the feeling of being silenced is common.  When there is a fear of losing relationships, friends and even family within a social group or church setting - this can empower those in positions of authority to continue in their abusing behaviors. Silencing and canceling not only manifests itself in small group conversations but in one-to-one conversations, meetings and more broadly in social media. 

Fearmongering / Scare tactics

Fearmongering / Scare tactics

Fearmongering / Scare tactics

Fear mongering

   Fearmongering, or scaremongering, is a form of manipulation that causes fear by using exaggerated rumors of impending danger. Ways of achieving a particular result by frightening people so much that they do what you want them to do. 

For example

"If you leave your church, you will be cursed. God will not be with you. Bad things will happen to you."

Cognitive Dissonance

Fearmongering / Scare tactics

Signs of Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive Dissonance is a psychological term that refers to the mental discomfort or psychological stress experienced by a person who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, values, or ideas.


Breaking free from a toxic relationship can be a challenging process, especially when you have invested so much time, energy, and emotions into the relationship.


In many cases, people stay in toxic relationships because they feel stuck or trapped due to cognitive dissonance.


In the context of a toxic relationship, cognitive dissonance can occur when a person knows that their partner, church, or workplace is toxic and yet continues to stay in the relationship or environment.


 Breaking Free: 7 Clear Ways to Break Through Cognitive Dissonance Now (movingforwardafterabuse.com) 

Signs of Cognitive Dissonance

Signs of Cognitive Dissonance

Signs of Cognitive Dissonance

Recognizing you are experiencing cognitive dissonance is not always a simple process. The narcissist gradually wears down your self-awareness and self-trust, leaving you vulnerable to their manipulations.

The most common signs of cognitive dissonance include:

  • Doubting your own memory or recollection of events, conversations, and experiences
  • Second-guessing decisions and choices
  • Becoming paralyzed with indecision
  • Inability to trust your own decision-making process
  • Feeling like there is something wrong with you
  • Withdrawing from social interactions
  • Constantly apologizing for things that the other person does or says.
  • Recognizing lies from the partner, pastor or employer but defending their actions, words, and behaviors. 

 Narcissists, Relationships, and Cognitive Dissonance | Psychology Today 

Finding Clarity

Signs of Cognitive Dissonance

Finding Clarity

  Recognizing the emotional and mental confusion that you experience is an important step in breaking out of self-doubt. Working with a therapist using talk therapy is instrumental in making changes to how you see yourself and learning to trust your own experiences, thoughts, and beliefs. Other ways to help reduce the cognitive dissonance caused by a narcissist include:


1. Learning mindfulness to stay grounded and present in the moment.

2. Journaling to record and validate your feelings, experiences, and memories.

3. Sharing your story with trusted individuals

4. Developing healthy boundaries

5. Practicing self-care and self-love

Learning to trust yourself and your experiences is not always easy. 


Counselors, Life Coaches, and Therapists can provide the safe space for this emotional healing that is vital to your recovery. 


Resources for Help & Support
listen and learnbooks to help you dig deeper

Healing from abuse is not forgetting the past, but growing beyond it.


You are worth the journey

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Recognize Emotional Abuse
  • Considering Leaving
  • Support Resources
  • Contact Us

The Way Out To Freedom

737-239-1947

Copyright © 2023 The Way Out to Freedom - All Rights Reserved.

Powered by

This website uses cookies.

We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.

Accept